Thursday, January 29, 2015

I am Woman, Hear Me Roar

OK. That's it. I've got a little something to say. *Pulls out soapbox.*

I am a female and I'm all girl power. If men can do it, why can't the women? Growing up I used to proudly boast how I didn't need a man, I was going to make my own money. When I was asked how the heck I was going to have a family, my eight year old self said, "you don't need a man to make a baby!" Yes, I pretty well grew up knowing I wanted to be independent, take care of myself, and love someone more than I needed them--a concept stressed in my college years by a strong female mentor.

So yeah, I'm pro-women.  That's not to say I'm against men at all. I think they're great! And not all men think us females are little ladies who need taking care of. Ask my husband if he feels that way about me and I can promise you he'll tell you he loves how independent I am...and stubborn. And he respects that.

But I'm not afraid to call my hubby and ask him to help me carry something heavy or to please check the oil in my car. You'll find me in the kitchen making dinner and baking cookies and playing tea party with my niece. I do not have to go against the grain to prove I am strong and capable and equal to men in many ways.

Someday when Pyro Man and I have little ones, I can promise you no matter what the gender, that little love bug will be in dance classes and singing show tunes while fishing in their camo gear. There is no rule that states I have to do what women typically do or that my future little girl can't hunt with her daddy. These days women have more ability to choose freely in who they are and what they want to do.

Or at least I thought so.

Lately I've been seeing a few articles popping up regarding women's attire. I read an article earlier this week about a woman choosing not to wear yoga pants and leggings in public because it made men lust after her. OK. Fair enough. You want to be a class act. You want to be a good example to your daughter. I get that, completely. But what about tight jeans? What about skirts and tights? Is that making men lust for you? Where do you do draw the line? Why do you need to alter your dress attire for the sake of saving a random man from looking at you?

Today I read an article about a girl who had to wear a coat over her formal dress at a school dance. Why? Because they thought the shoulder straps were too revealing. They were two inches wide, the standard rule for her school's dress code. I've seen plenty of dresses on young ladies today that are short and tight, much more revealing than a two inch dress strap. PS--this girl's dress was tea length. Know what that means? The lovely lace dress reached her shin bone. Lord have mercy! She's showing ankle!! What year are we in? 1910?

It bothers me to read articles and see segments urging women to consider how they dress because of how a man will react. That's basically telling me I'm asking for anything to happen to me; that my choices are clearly to blame for potential actions of others. The young lady I referred to, she asked the question I had: why are you telling women how to dress when we should be teaching men how to look at women?

Why is it my responsibility to dress in a way that does not provoke men from thinking lustful thoughts? If that's the case, well I have something to ask the men folk. *Cue the sarcasm*  Please stop wearing tight t-shirts. Seeing your biceps could potentially send me squealing to my girlfriends in a fired up frenzy of sexual attraction!

....I don't think that would ever happen. There's never a discussion on the poor choices men make in their clothing selections. No one ever stops to think that maybe it bothers women to see men dressed a certain way. Put the shoe of the other foot for once.

Women know how to dress and women certainly know when they're putting on outfits with the intension of getting men to notice them. Some go classy, some go trashy, and some go in between. It's all personal preference then.  If I want to dress is something to wow my husband, I know exactly what to put on--that does not mean I'm going to stop dressing for him just because I realize someone else might see me. Most days, the outfits are for me with no intention of attracting attention.

I cannot control the way others, mainly men, think or feel about my attire. Whether I make the conscious effort to wear an attention grabbing garb or not, they are in control of their own feelings and thoughts. Women choose what they want to wear on a daily basis. Why do we have to be conscious about our choices for the sake of someone's sexual attraction? Covering up my body is not going to prevent men from noticing I'm a woman. If anything, the curiosity of wondering what's under it all is probably more alluring that letting out hang out.

There is not a doubt in my mind that how I present myself is a representation of who I am. For me, I like to put my best foot forward and occasionally my best foot includes a baseball cap and a t-shirt. Some days is a dress and heels. Most days, I'm in spandex. Why? It's my work attire. I can't help that and fortunately I'm in an environment where that's the norm.

Why are we making a big deal about the things that aren't a big deal? Let's focus on positive reinforcement of clothing choices--like a 15 year old choosing a classy tea length lace dress instead of short, tight, strapless dress with do-me heels. Let's focus on teaching our young men and women to respect each other, respect our own bodies, too. Maybe we'd have less (half)naked selfies on snapchat and Instagram. Young ladies wouldn't loose their self respect by showing it all away to a teenage boy who could care less about her as a person and passes the picture on to his buddies.

Let's focus on inspiring young people to have integrity and personal pride in who they present to the world every day, physically and electronically. Maybe there would be less hiding behind superficial status updates, hateful tweets and blasts of misplaced passionate incoherent rants.  Let's focus on showing understanding and compassion in hopes of setting a positive example. Maybe there would be less focus on themselves, and more focus on others.

Let's just focus for a moment.

Perhaps the focus shouldn't be on my clothing choice, rather how I am setting an example as a human being to those around me.

I am one person. I might not know how I affect others, but I know that I do by my actions, by my words, by my example. I cannot, however, control how people will react to them. This in no way means I'm not aware of others, how they feel, how they perceive. It just means that I'm going to wear my leggings, dammit. Not to entice men. Not to throw it in the face of a conservative blogger. But because I can, it is my right, and it is my choice.

To think that what I am responsible for the thoughts and views of men according to my clothing choice is absurd. Do not think for a minute that I would kindly put a coat over my classy dress because I know not one man would even think twice about putting a coat over anything he'd choose to wear.

*Gets off soap box.*

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