Thursday, December 9, 2010

Firsts & Lasts

Today is technically my last day of class as a student. Yes, I still have a whole other week of finals next week, three of which are dance classes and only one paper to turn in, BUT today is the last full day of regular classes. Whoa.


That's huge. Do you realize that I've been in school since I was four years old. Four. Almost twenty years I've been in school and now it's done. I walk the stage in eight days, finally completing my college education. It's insane that this Thursday is the last Thursday I'll have of class.

What's that? Why am I finishing class on a Thursday instead of Friday? Well, that's because I'm going to Branson, MO tonight for an audition tomorrow. I'm trading in my dance finals for auditions. This is the real deal, man. I'm not practicing any more and I don't think this trip could have made it any more real to me.

I'm auditioning for jobs that will put money in the bank and food in my belly--I no longer worry about getting a good grade for a thirty second combo, I have to get the job. Aside from a paycheck, which will pay for those student loans in six months (Holy. Hannah. Can't think about that now.), I will to do what I've been dreaming of since I was seven: perform. *Sigh* How wonderful!

I'm excited. I'm nervous. I've done plenty of auditions before, just not with the staggering realization that I'm actually beginning my career. Lately I've been feeling incredibly nervous about leaving school, extremely scared about attempting auditions, and doubtful of the choice I've made for myself. You can tell me that ever graduate feels this way and I'm sure that's true. It feels different because I'm actually living it right now. Then I found this quote and I knew it would be more of a mantra for me than anything else:

Only she who attempts the absurd can achieve the impossible.
-Robin Morgan

So here I go, venturing into the unknown, trying my best, and keeping my fingers crossed. I'm going to go for it all and see what happens. Hmmm. I might have to print this out to remind myself of this courageous moment I'm having. I forget all to easily about my gumption in a moment of panic.

I'm hoping to get back in town to see Home for the Holidays at OCU. It's the American Spirit Christmas show and I haven't missed it once since I've been at school here. It's so much fun to see, full of holiday cheer, a dancing hippopotamus, toy soldiers, and even the baby Jesus. Yes, he makes a glowing appearance every year for the final nativity scene--it's actually very moving. Anyway, you should come out! To all the American Spirit Dancers, break legs!

I also found out that Bryan White is doing a performance with the OCU string orchestra on Sunday. I must confess, I loved me some Bryan White growing up. He's a country singer from the 90's. You probably remember "Rebbecca Lynn," "Someone Else's Star," and his duet with Shania Twain, "From This Moment On." Yup, definitely going. 

This Christmas Elf still has some *cough A LOT cough cough* of Christmas shopping to do. And baking. And  a paper to finish. And defensive driving. And...oh man. I'm going to stop there before I start to hyperventilating. It will all get done in time!

Wish me luck for tomorrow! I'm officially up in running in the business of auditioning!! YAHOO!!!

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