Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Things That Go Beep In the Night

I'm home, right? Here on my spring break, resting, trying to get work done. Resting.

Last night, as I lay in my bed with my trusted companion snoring on the floor, I awoke to a noise. Not any noise, a repeated beeping. "Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeebeep!" Argh! So I fwop over to turn off my phone alarm (Fwop: to roll over, throwing ones body weight into a new position out of exhaustion or irritation). Only problem is that my phone is not going off because it's five am and I don't get up at five am.

Wait a minute. Wait. A. Minute. Why is there beeping in the house at 5 am? (See, this is how my sluggish brain works if my slumber has been disturbed. It's not quick on the uptake initially).

I sit straight up, heart violently pounding, my mind reeling with all sorts of scenarios and sticks to one in particular. Someone must be in the house and they're trying to "beep" their way out! Ridiculous but it's the best I had to come up with. Throwing the covers off, I swing my legs over the side of the bed only to find my foot suddenly connected to my fuzzy puppy's head--no worries folks, she was unharmed. SHE was still sleeping, completely ignoring the beeping noise. How is that possible? How can I, a human, hear this high pitched beeping while my dog, who usually hears highly piercing noises, is sound asleep?!?

The beeping stops all together. I sit there for a moment contemplating my choices. Perhaps I have overreacted and it was Mom or Dad's phone alarm. Yeah freaking right. Perhaps the intruder is still in here and he's contemplating taking my sleeping, precious pup away! Oh no!

So I do what any young woman would do. I ran into my parents room to wake up Dad.

Don't judge--you would have done it, too. Anyway, so I go scurrying off to my Dad's side of the bed trying to stay in control without freaking out over the fact that there is a possible intruder beeping his way in and out of our home. I poke him once without much success. Well, it would only make sense that he just didn't feel it so I shake him awake. "dad. Dad. DAD!" Good thing Dad doesn't mind having his rest interrupted.

Dad: *Dad sits his fuzzy head up--clearly where my bed head gene comes from* "Huh?"

Julie: "Dad! There's a beeping in the house."

Dad: "A wha....?"

Julie: "A BEEPING! There's a beeping in the house. Someone could be here! You have to go find it! Oh forget it, I'll go find it."

*Clearly Dad was not awake enough to process the severity of the situation as I have imagined it. Deciding to take matters into my own hands I start to storm off then turn right around and run back to Dad's side*

Julie: "PLEASE go see what the beeping is! I don't wanna!"

Just as I ran back to Dad, the beeping starts up again. This time Dad actually hears it and about that same time, Mom wakes up. She's rustling around with blankets and jabbering on about "I don't hear any beeping!" "MOM! SHHHH!!!!"

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Heroic Daddy takes off to find the bothersome beep. YAY Dad! I'll just stay behind with Mom. You know, protect the back part of the house--I'm sure my fuzzed out hair will be enough to scare off anyone. That and my morning breath.

Well, I decide I was going to put on a stiff upper lip and go follow Dad to see what the heck is going on. Here I go, putting on a brave face, going to ward off what predator lays in our house, probably trying to take off with my clean laundry. I tip toe behind Dad, into the kitchen to discover....the weather station is beeping. The weather station? It's a dang wireless weather station that tells you what's going on outside in case you live in a house without windows and doors. Why was it beeping? Who the heck knows, but I certainly thought it was an intruder. Dang.

Praise be we didn't have some crazy person eating the Girl Scout cookies in our kitchen--what would I have done? Probably thrown that dang weather station at them and taken off running and screaming like the girl I am. The mystery was solved so we trotted back to bed and as I'm telling Mom what was actually beeping, in walks the dog. Our brave, guard dog comes sleepily staggering in to find out what the commotion is all about. Yeah, Piper. I feel so safe with you.

"Come on, Piper. Time to go back to bed." And so we drifted back to sleep, the excitement over, the mysterious beeping finally turned off, and the the assurance that no intruder was going to eat our Girl Scout cookies or take our puppy. All is right in the world of the Russell Household again.


  1. OMG - I am laughing so hard my sides hurt!! I have to remind myself NOT to read these at work!

  2. I'm glad your dad took this so lightly...my dad would have NEVER fallen back asleep and therefore would have been angry with me the rest of the day. haha.

  3. Hahaha--Daddy is so easy going, it's tough to ruffle his feathers ;)


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