The end of my time as a graduate student, that is. I just met with my advisor and set up my last two semesters here. This summer I'll be taking two courses, one being my Thesis Preparation course and the other, Non-Profit Organizations (Thank goodness I've already had it before. I know what I'm getting in to.)Also set up my fall schedule, the absolute final semester of classes I will have to take.
Did you hear that? That was a choir of angels ringing out their praises for upcoming end of a year and a half marathon. HALLELUJAH!
Seems to me this semester has been the hardest I've ever had--the Suzy Sunshine in me is getting a little worn for the weather. I envision this cheerleader ragged with crazy fuzzy hair, smeared make-up, sagging pom-poms, and barely enough umph (Sounds like: oo-mm-ff)to spell out a cheer. My positivity is wearing thin and my sanity is hanging by a thread.
But I'm almost there. I can do this. Not too long ago on one fine day, my sister, Sarah, sent me a wonderful reminder after a pretty frustrating week. Reading this reminder helped me reach down and find that strength to shrug off those hostile feelings of chucking my computer across the room or running down the street screaming bloody murder. We've all felt that at one point in time or another.
Anyway, thought I'd share it with you. Maybe it will help inspire some hope for anyone who is working through a particularly hard semester:
Hi Baby Sister!
I found this in my email that I am cleaning out--wow--over 5,000 emails...who does that?! :P Anywho, I found this inspiring email from a girl who was feeling pretty proud of her accomplishments and looking to that light in the tunnel, and I thought you might like to read it.
Hang on to that feeling, Baby Sister--trust me, this time that feels like it's creeping by will seem like a blink and then there you are standing in the middle of your life! It's like the last part of the roller coaster just before you tumble over the last hill...Enjoy this time--it will give you a chance to be "Just Julie"... I love you!
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 2008
Last night I was looking over my course check-off list while trying to set-up my schedule for next year. I read through each class required for my major and noticed each and every class I'd completed with its year and semester by it with the utmost amazed feeling.
I can remember the day I received this particular piece of paper--I sat in my advisor's office thinking "How the heck will I ever get this done in three years?!" Keep in mind my first year at OCU was spent as a theater student taking barley 14 hours a semester. Practically everything I took was counted as electives which meant I was going to cram four years (Nearly five if you didn't take massive amounts of classes) into three...thus began the first of many silent panic attacks.
If anyone knows me, they know how much I love to plan, make lists and how accomplished I feel checking each to-do off. If you really know me then you know I'm fabulous when it comes to making plans but how hard it is for me to get everything I plan finished--let's just say I plan to bite off way more than I can chew from time to time. Executing my to-do's can be a challenge within itself. Great planner, not always great about executing it all.
Looking at my course list last night I couldn't believe how much I'd finished--I'd survived every project class, written every paper and lived to tell the tale with little to no emotional scarring. I've hit major bumps in the road and tackled more over the top projects that I ever thought I could. Every horror story every upperclassman told became a reality proving their ability to tell tall tales...nothing was every as scary as it seemed before. I've successfully convinced myself I could live through two years of non-stop school finishing 18 hours spring of sophomore year into 9 hours of summer school, 21 hours in a fall semester followed by 3 over Christmas break and finishing with 19 hours in the spring. Have to tell you I didn't know if I'd make it through that year, but thanks to my stubborn nature I refused to give up.
So it's my last semester I'm planning for and you'd think I would want to quit now, be finished and burned out of everything to do with dance and school. No way--if anything this has fueled my fire to keep going and learn more. As I check off each last class I have to take, making the final preparations to finish this four year adventure I couldn't feel more pleased with myself and all I've done. I hope my fellow seniors are experiencing this same exhilarating feeling of satisfaction.