This morning I went through my usual routine. Got up at 6:30, put on a pot of strong coffee, and began the day.
Made it to school in time for my first class where I tried to to focus on the lecture and lesson at hand. Scribbling through my to-do list, I began to feel this growing anxious feeling of a time crunch coming on. Before I knew it I suddenly was looking at three more full days or work, late nights of writing and cutting music, catching up and trying to get ahead. With a reeling mind I raced to tap to try and slam out what sorts of frustration clouded my already distracted mind. Still no help.
As I made my way work, I don't know what happened, but my feet carried me to my car. As if I no longer had control over my body, my hands clicked open the car, my body slide into the drivers seat, and turned over the engine. I grabbed the wheel, took a deep breath and began driving. Hitting the highway, headed south, I threw my purple legal pad of paper full of to-do's and project notes out the car window. Then my calendar. Then my cell phone.
Plugging in some of my favorite music, I cranked up the tunes and didn't even glance back. The thrill, the exhilaration of separation from everything began to grab hold of my heart--no, I felt no regret. I felt freedom. Honest to goodness freedom. My body began to relax and I let my grip ease on the wheel as I kept cruising down I-35. I didn't even know where I was going next, didn't even check the gas tank. I just took off.
Passing truck drivers and company cars, I begin taking my hair down, releasing the curls that have been knotted by hair rubber bands long enough. Wished I'd shirked the tights before I left, but hey, this was spontaneous. Feeling the sunshine beat down on my face and arms, it warmed my body like the drive warmed my soul. I could hear the rush of wind passing over my gleaming Iris-colored Camry. See the tall grass whipping around the edge of the highway, promising to push up the bluebonnets in a few months time. Passing clouds moved along the spring blue sky with birds streaking across every now and again. Budding trees signified that a change was on the way, one that would be welcomed by the whole world. Driving over what hills Oklahoma provides, my car rolled easily down the pavement adding mile after mile to my meter.
One deep inhale to take it all in. One long exhale to savor the moment. Pushing aside any and all thoughts, I kept driving down the road. Didn't know where I was going to end, didn't want to. Didn't think what people would say, didn't want to. For once, didn't think of consequences or how irrational this runaway was. I didn't want to. I just wanted to drive, to escape, to run like the wind and leave if only for a day.
Then the office phone rang.
Sometimes my day dreams are so real I believe I'm really there inside of staring at a blank wall with piles of work around me.